Cashmere and Wasabi

I have officially decided that my new theme is Cashmere and Wasabi! Or at least I am the living embodiment of such. I will snuggle up to your ass and then WHAMMO! Clear your sinuses like there is no tomorrow! That. Is who I am.

I will clean your clock and you will really not even realize I was talking to you until it happens.

That - is my circle of wonderful. Soft and Powerful - yup - that's how I roll.

Riiiiiiiiiiight. I honestly wish I could find myself even one modicum that cool - but Seriously - I sleep in MY underwear and know where I live. It really really isn't that cool. I want it to be. Does that count?

*EDIT - seriously - what the F' was I smokin? Basically trying to say I wish I was cool and I am so not. But I do love Cashmere and Wasabi. THAT I do.*

Pate for breakfast

To expound on the last post:
I am going to try to make those small shifts in life get to "that place" - to really "Live - Damn it - Live." As the mommy, I am the proverbial glue to those under my care. I know I will never be a slow moving methodical caregiver who selectively takes a ton of time to do every little thing, I just won't and it's SO unrealistic to think I will, but I am going to make the effort to do more - to not cut corners - to not just get by - bellies fed - rushing from one activity to the next in some ADHD version of a life.

I am having pate for breakfast. Pate I made from raw chicken livers I bought. It tastes really good. No one I love would touch it with a dead squirrel but to me it says "I took the time!" Granted it was just for me that I took said time - but I took the time nevertheless. I went to all that trouble. I want to start going to all that trouble a lot. Frankly that is all we have to share.

Chicken Liver Pate:
3 cloves of garlic chopped
1 med onion chopped
3 tbs butter
1 lb chicken livers clean/chopped/trimmed of fat
8 oz cream cheese
ton of hot sauce
pinch of salt

Heat butter in pan - add garlic and onion and brown. Don't let them burn. Add livers and turn to low and cover. Stir occasionally and cook about 10 minutes - longer is ok you just want flavors to blend. Cool a bit. Put mix into a blender with the rest of the ingredients. Blend like mad. Scrape into a bowl and cover with plastic touching the top and chill for 2 hours. Serve with whatever crispy thing you want to dip into it. I'm wheat intolerant so veggies and corn chips it is. But crispy french bread is yummy too.

Enjoy.

Going to all "that" trouble

Okay let me say that life is not a dress rehearsal. Um duh? You seriously have to be a special kind of dumb ass to miss that particular nugget - but really this is just a one time affair. Make it or break it - and all the dumb cliques that go with that thought. BUT if you have ever loved someone enough to a) knit them that sweater b) cook that dinner that takes OMG a ton of ingredients and effort or c) something equally amazing it's what I call GOING TO ALL THAT TROUBLE.

BUT what sucks is rarely do two people find each other who are willing to do such for the other. In a previous relationship he couldn't be bothered to give me a wet blanket if I was on fire - okay a bit of an exaggeration - but it seemed that way at the time.

Now I know what it's like to be married to someone who would do anything - I mean anything for me. It's so very odd to be on the other side of that affection. It's very humbling. And thought provoking. It makes me want to revisit some of the things that I just "do" on a daily basis. Not just slow down. But put more thought into - more something - basically - go to all that trouble now and then.

Diamond in the Snow

I am really sick of hearing about "paradigm shifts" and such things since my paradigm has been shifted so many times I frankly don't know which end is up! But that said - I do think it's time to change the old guard - do something drastically new - shake the sheets as it were. Lately I'm working on being positive in the face of potential disaster and not just smiling in it's face, but actually full on getting behind it and shoving! Not laying down on the tracks and looking away from the train hoping it won't hurt that much - but running beside it and trying to jump on. See where it's going. Maybe I'll like it. Yes, I will like it because it's not here.

I'm not necessarily talking place - but place of mind. Not sleeping through the big stuff, nor the small. Being present and not distracted by the myriad tasks and priorities I set. Learning, stretching and growing in different uncomfortable directions.

In two weeks everything my family owns will be put in boxes and shipped 5 states away from what I've known of home for the last 40 years. That in itself should shift a few things, but frankly it's time for something else. A new WORD, a new something that will make a difference.

My husband and I were walking to a restaurant to say goodbye to some friends of ours that we will most likely never see again. As we were walking I looked down into the salt and snow and saw a "diamond" - of course I picked it up and had wild dreams of fortune (or at least a tiny bit of cash). It is of course not a diamond but a CZ. But before I found that out - it really hit me that it didn't matter either way. It was a diamond to me and the "reality" of it didn't change. Just my value on it. How I perceived it. It was a diamond because I said it was.

I have decided to embrace the positive in everything because that is the only reality there is. Joy in the face of whatever. Yes I was a bit let down because it's not worth actual money. But maybe down the road I will be different enough because of this that my career soars. Yes the money would have been wonderful to have, but if I can find something that changes how I look at things - at the world for the better, kicks me in the ass so to speak - it could have been 10 carats worth of diamond I found in the snow - decidedly no less valuable.