Healing

deer in the headlights'kay so I had my deer in the headlights moment at church this morning. A Missionary to India came to give our church a little glimpse of the world outside of us and once again I have to be shaken out of my ugly American position. I really don't want to be - honest - it's just well, you know. God I wish you were listening to me right now.

Anyway, it was awesome. She was talking about Esther - and I've always aligned myself with her - being where she did not want to be and making the best of it and coming out on top. The verse about being brought here for such a time as this. I want to have all of the crap make sense - have a purpose anyway. I know the man would laugh in my face for wanting things to be orderly and purposeful but you know as well as I do that sometimes irony is a bitch with a sense of humor.

Anyway it became very clear to me what to do or at least it seems to be clear. Lots could change it for me, but well right now I am where I need to be for whatever reason that is I haven't a clue but I am yielded to the greater one. Unfortunately for me I wonder if one and one will ever equal anything but eleven for him. For me one and one is five.